two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
