i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
