I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
