You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
