I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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