Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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