I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
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