And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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