somebody snuck up and got me drunk
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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