I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
