giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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