She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
