When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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