Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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