Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
