I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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