I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
