Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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