I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
