Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
