yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
