make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
