his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
