wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
