I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
