Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
