been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
