Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm so fucking centered right now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
