They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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