i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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