did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
