what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
