take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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