Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
