i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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