grandma shit on top of the toilet
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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