What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
