small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
So many bounce houses so little time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
