whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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