i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
