I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
