Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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