Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
