Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
