i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
