it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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