And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
