I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
