Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
