it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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